As it stands now, my Courage feels like a small flame flickering on a candle. Life is often windy and feel as if it always trying to extinguish it to test how committed I am to the Plan of Eternal Happiness. I am continually being tested. I am a Christian surrounded by insensitive atheists who continually mock and analyze my faith in order to prove it wrong. I am living with people who are disagreeable and dealing with more challenges in class than I’ve ever dealt with before. All the while the wind is growing stronger and colder and the flame is still flickering. But my fire has never been put out. The flame may get smaller but it’s never snuffed.

When there is negativity surrounds you, gather your courage and protect it. Go to a quiet, private place and talk to your Self. Encourage it when it’s feeling down, be that “person” who is always supportive. Keep sight of your ultimate goals even if they feel far away. Most importantly, put mental space between you and the negativity around you. If they are friends, you don’t have to tell them everything about your Life if they are unsupportive. If you find it easier to make new more loving friends, so be it. When all you have is God and you are surrounded by foes, place that light in a lantern and protect from that wind which will destroy it.

Remain positive. Even if you are steeped in negativity, find a way to turn it around. Staying negative is easy, in fact it’s lazy. Positivity through trials is hard work. James 2:20 states that faith without works is dead. Keep the faith, but you have to work at keeping your happiness. Never stop working. DL

Woman in Hat by artist Abhilisha Singh

Who do you see when you look at the Woman in the Mirror? Through my readings on developing spiritual character and becoming an woman of substance I have learned that the beauty you feel on the inside does reflect the state of the inner being. Unhappiness, discontentment, and apathy toward life all show up on your face. I am working developing a countenance of kindness, grace and overall beauty.

When I look at the Definitive Women I admire such as Audrey Hepburn, Queen Rania of Jordan and Desiree Rogers, there is a vibrancy, a light in their eyes that proclaims the beauty within. What are doing to protect your inner light? If the light is even a small flicker you must nurture it with positive self talk and new knowledge to protect your self-value. I am learning how to do this, but the other voice, the Self has to be in harmony with the Conscience which is the Spirit of the Lord dwelling within you, in order  to achieve true happiness.

The Definitive Woman knows how to step back from Life and retreat to the safe place inside herself and nurture the light so it is not extinguished. I do this through listening to beautiful, soothing and uplifting music, reading my Bible, listening to a ministry and reading articles on spiritual healing and encouragement.  I never lose sight of my long term goals and I hold them close in my heart so I don’t forget. Life is  a journey and no matter what I will be happy. If anything is worth fighting for, it is happiness and love. DL

Over the past year since I left high school, I have read many books to gain insight on my spiritual self, the “inside” self. I realized I had some things to work through if I was ever going to truly happy. What brings me here you ask? Authenticity was something I needed to welcome into my life.

The concept of Definitive Living came to me when I thought about the aspects I loved about magazines. I wanted to parlay the blogging success into a future magazine for Women of Color—not just black women, but women of all ethnicities. I wanted to inspire women to feel beautiful regardless of what skin they were in. Of course, I felt that my dream was far away but possible. I started blogging about things I loved and I was really excited….for a while.  I have a pattern of getting really motivated and then getting discouraged. This is normal for a lot of people except that I completely quit. I was done.

There is a renewed spark inside me to tell the truth and get it to the legions of young women feeling less than stellar. I am revamping the idea of Definitive Living and changing the angle of this blog. Definitive Living is about setting your goals and actively pursuing them. I want young women to feel confident, intelligent, beautiful and capable in the various stages of growing into the women you are meant to be. If I really want to change my life for the better, I am going to be more aggressive about it. I need to capture every piece of joy that Life has to offer. I am going to be my authentic self and refuse to back down. Courage means walking the walk even if you are afraid. What do you have to lose if you start where you are? DL

I’m a big fan of Miami Social, Bravo’s latest fabulista reality series. The standout cast member has to be Katrina Campins. She’s the real estate star from the first season of The Apprentice. She founded her own real estate company, The Campins Company,  with ex-husband Ben Moss in 2004. Ranking in the top 1/2 percent of Realtors worldwide, her resume is impressive. Her clientele includes high profile individuals such as celebrities, athletes, and entrepreneurs. If you catch the show, you will immediately notice Katrina’s elegant beauty and her amazing style. However, it is the light that shines from within that will entrance you. A true Alpha Female, she is intelligent, driven, creative, savvy and sexy to the core.  Who wouldn’t want to be Katrina? Ladies, take notes. DL

Learn more about Katrina at www.katrinacampins.com/ and www.thecampinscompany.com/  

In a previous post, I raved about the beauty of the color black. It must be said that white is the perfect pairing for the hue of the night. Real Estate Exec Ivanka Trump forayed into the world of jewelry in 2007 with her namesake collection.  The Ivanka Trump Collection flagship store resides on Madison Avenue in New York City. With plans to to open more locations globally, she is definitely daddy’s little girl.

Her  jewelry is modern with a nod to classic glamour. Ivanka Trump uses sultry onyx, alluring rock crystal, and diamonds to create a one-of-a-kind suite.  The stand-out pieces are surely the black and white collection and the tassel collection crafted with delicate seed pearls.  I fantasize about owning jewels like these. But as most designers know, they are in the business of making dreams. DL

Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Do pessimistic thoughts overwhelm your day? These thoughts may be the roadblock between you and success. All you have to do is replace the fear and doubt with positive action and self-belief. The book The Courage to be Rich: Creating a Life of Material and Spiritual Abundance by Suze Orman will change how you think about money. I am halfway through the book and it is eye-opening. Suze’stheory about why certain people are not wealthy will open your eyes too. Financial guru Suze Orman provides practical advice to help with certain financial woes. Pick up a copy at www.amazon.com or www.half.com on the cheap if you have an eBay account. DL